Funny Sayings

We are waiting upon the Lord to work our troubles out. As we wait, we are reminded to count our blessings. We can best do that in remembering the funny things our kids say.

When I wake up, I am going to go to take a nap.

You better stop shaking your head or it will pop off and roll out the door.

Customer: How big is your pizza?
Waitress: 8 slices
Customer: Please only cut it into 2 pieces, I am not that hungry.

You made me laugh so hard that the pill almost came out my nose!

Don't make me snap my fingers in a z formation
exclamation
elbow, elbow,
wrist, wrist,
Oh, you just got this!

I so so poud!

I wonder what will happen if I push this big green button. Push!

Mommy why does Daddy have to go to work?
To make money so we can eat.
Mommy, you're silly, we don't eat money!

Looking at the Hope Diamond: "It's just a stinking necklace!"

As my older daughter and I watched as my son threw a tantrum she asked, "Mommy, did I ever act that way?"
"Yes, except your fits were bigger."
"I'm so sorry, Mommy."

You never know!

As I was pushing my bald 2 yr old in the grocery, she kept asking if we were finished shopping. This went on for close to an hour. Finally she caught the eye of an elderly shopper and shouted out, "Help me!"

Aflak on fire!

I just bought a new black and white spotted blouse. I was feeling good until my son came up to me and said, "I know, your a cow!" thinking I was in costume.

"I want a doctor! I want a doctor!" my 5 yr old daughter shouted in ICU after her spinal fusion surgery. The room was filled with doctors, so I asked her why she needed one. "So I can punch them!" For the next couple of days all of the nurses told the doctors to go into that little girls room and tell her that you are a doctor.

"Why do we have to wait so long to see the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence."
"Because a very important person is in there."
"Don't those pieces of paper say that 'All men are created equal?'"
Yes, you just defined irony."

"At the Last Supper did Jesus drink the wine and eat the bread?"

One day my husband asked my youngest daughter, "Hey, will this cup cover my bald spot?"
She shook her head no.
"The napkin?"
No.
"The saucer?"
No.
Then she pulled out the large dinner plate and handed it to him.

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?