Acceptance with Joy

Elizabeth leaves tomorrow for the hospital.  We have to have an ambulance come and get her to take her down because she is still unable to sit up.  She has been approved for a week stay.  This means that she will be in for Thanksgiving.  This is hard, but I think it is best to get her moving as quickly as possible.

The danger, in my mind, is that we will be able to get her up and moving, but the falling will continue.  This was also on the mind of her doctor as we discussed the whole issue of Elizabeth's problems right now.  We had taken a short break from this doctor when we were told by one of the orthopedic surgeons that she also had C1-C2 instability.  He was not around when all of the fights took place about if she does or if she does not. 

Where we left it is that we would wait.  This doctor brought the subject up himself and said that he thinks that she has the instability.  He wanted me to take her to her doctor to see if she did.  I told me that she was found to have it.  He said that the POTS alone could not be causing all of this falling.  He also said that it is difficult to believe that her sister, mother and grandmother all have this issue and she does not. 

His theory is that she is turning her head in a certain way causing her to pass out.

How am I going to make another decision to put another child through brain/spine surgery?  The doctors are divided.  If this surgery would occur, it would have to be in adult hospital. 

She does not know about the neck issue right now.  If you come from her perspective, she will probably not be able to walk and she will need this awful neck surgery to attach her head!

I have been praying very hard about all of this.  The answer that I got the other day is three words, "Acceptance with Joy."

Really???!  How am I supposed to have acceptance with joy?  Do I just fake it?  I can count my blessing and think it could be worse.  I can thank God that there is a surgeon willing to do the surgery, but acceptance with joy...? 

I am going to need His help with this one.  I am going to need everyone's help with this one!  I know what that surgery feels like.  I do not know what it is like to know that walking is not going to be easy or even possible all of the time.  She would also know that many more surgeries are likely.

I am not at the acceptance with joy right now.  I am mad, frustrated and confused.  Lord help me to see your Goodness in this.