Meditations on Psalm 55

Psalm 55 speaks the words of my heart:

"I am frightened inside;
the terror of death has attacked me.
I am scared and shaking,
and terror grips me.
I said, 'I wish I had wings like a dove.
Then I would fly away and rest.
I would wander far away
and stay in the desert.
I would hurry to my place of escape,
far away from the wind and the storm.

But later in the same psalm, God promises this:

"Give your worries to the Lord,
and He will take care of you."

I give you my worries Lord.  They are too big and difficult for me.  Take my worries about my pain after surgery without pain medication.  Take my worries about my children and husband during my recuperation.  You need to help me in a big way, realize that Erica is fine and pursuing other medical opinions is futile.  The worry about her having a stroke needs to set with you, not me.  Take that heartbreak I see in my children's eyes, though they don't speak about it.  Take my worry about how my body with react on the operating table.  Help me be the kind of mom that CJ needs as he struggles with his anxieties.  Give me the words to say to him that shows love, yet boundaries.  God, you can also take my frustration over my loss of control.  I need a dose of understanding and clarity in dealing with Elizabeth's recent maturity.  Help me keep her safe.  You are in control, not me.  Let me find Joy in the midst of chaos.  Take away my confused thoughts.  Give me discernment and faith to do only those things You tell me to do.  Let me be a mirror that reflects the light of your love in all I do.  Lord, you know that I cannot do these things on my own.  Help me cast off my desires and wants and pick up your mantel.

God thank you so much for the blessings in my life.  Please help me to not look at my blessings and curses.  I thank you for a husband that is kind, understanding, hard working, even tempered, smart, caring, and the best person I know.  Blessed am I to have 3 amazing children.  Help me to be the best mom possible, but not take on things that are not in Your plan.  I thank you for the prayers that are said for our family.  Not enough thanks could be said for the many people that worked to modify our house.  It is a constant reminder of Your supply. I thank you for the Driscoll Family.  Even though they live in Switzerland, they still send money to a cleaning company so our house is cleaned once every two weeks!  You have shown so much of Your love to us that it is a sin to think that You would not answer our prayers now. 

I am not God (thank God).  I don't understand His ways, but He does promise that He will work all things out for good for those that love Him.  We receive your healing, protection, clarity, peace and joy only through Your grace.  Thank you Abba!