"Life Isn't About How to Survive the Storm But How You Dance in the Rain"

I stole that quote from a forwarded email I received today.  It reminded me that the physical is temporary and God made us water proof and 100% washable.

I have been putting off dealing with the elephant in the room.  Elizabeth continues to hurt her hip and falls frequently in public.  Right now we are scrambling trying to find a way to get a vehicle that can accommodate all of us and the motorized wheelchairs for the kids.  Because our medical bills have been so high during the last few years coupled with my need to quit working my three jobs, our finances are a mess.  The type of van we will need is very expensive and most banks do not want to loan money to people that need this type of van because the cost outweighs their assessment of the worth of these vehicles.  Our credit does not help matters.  Neither does the fact that we not only need a minivan that has a ramp, but a full sized van with a raised roof, a lift and room for at least two wheelchairs.

Because we will keep this van for a very long time, the man helping us find an appropriate van keeps mentioning that I need to plan for potential physical needs that I might have now and in the future.  Right now I am scheduled to see another orthopedic surgeon because I have problems with nerves in my forearms.  From what I understand, this is not carpel tunnel.  It is a condition that is prevalent in people with EDS.  My arms have been swollen for at least 7 months with some pretty intense pain and frequent numbness.  I went to PT which did not help much.  I also use splints that do help a little, but are not practical for everyday use.  I also have to take into consideration my hips which have been a problem since my birth.

It is difficult enough knowing and accepting that your children need extra assistance with wheelchairs and the like.  It is a different story when you have to accept that you own future might be very different as well.  Both of these issues were banging around in my head when I read the quote in the title of this blog.

I have a choice.  I can despair and feel defeated about the reality of needing all of these things for my family and not knowing how we will be able to acquire them, or I can dance knowing that God's grace is sufficient.  It is like standing on a razor blade at times.  I do not dance all the time, but if I can remember God's promises to us and to me, it is possible to dance and wonder how all of this will be accomplished.  Faith to me is preparing for the impossible blessing before it comes.  So right now I am going to thank God for His blessings that he has rained down on our family and the future blessings to come.  If these things that we think we need never come, then we will never need them.  Please help me pray that we can stay in that frame of mind.