All Or Nothing

I finally finished reading Mere Christianity by CS Lewis yesterday.  I had read other books that quoted from this book that I decided that I should read it.  The ending of the book hit me like a 2x4.  He said that you can believe in God and not trust Him.  You can conceptually say there is a God, but until you give your self wholly to Him, you are actually pushing Him away.  With God it is all or nothing.  "God is easy to please but hard to satisfy."

To illustrate the point, I heard a sermon from a former police chief.  He talked about this same concept.  (coincidence?)  He said that while at the police academy, he saw bullet proof vest tested.  The vest was propped up against a sandbag wall.  A gun was fired at the vest and the cadets were allowed to examine it.  "Hey, it didn't go through."  But, to trust in the bullet proof vest, one would need to put on the vest and voluntarily take a bullet.  Big difference in believing in something and trusting it.

I was convicted on another point as I read the book.  He Lewis wrote that when we trust God to help us heal in an area, we frequently get more than we ask.  For instance, he said that when he was a child, he would wait to tell his mother if he had a tooth ache.  Why?  Because he knew she would give him medicine for the pain to help him through the night, but in the morning, she would take him to the dentist.  He did not want to go to the dentist because he would fix the tooth causing pain, but would not stop there.  He would examine the other teeth and fix others as well.

I think that I deceive myself in thinking that God has done enough "fixing" in my soul.  I claim that He could have stopped 5 stages ago.  But with God it is all or nothing.  He will not be satisfied until we are "perfect."  No, I am far from perfect; I have a long way to go.  But that is the quest isn't it?  We will not be complete until we are untied with Him in eternal glory and rid of or world contamination. 

The best thing I can do is to accept that I will need refinement and give up.

I am due to have another surgery this Friday so I can use my left hand.  I am not happy, but as I was reminded today, "Give thanks to God for everything."