All Or Nothing

I finally finished reading Mere Christianity by CS Lewis yesterday.  I had read other books that quoted from this book that I decided that I should read it.  The ending of the book hit me like a 2x4.  He said that you can believe in God and not trust Him.  You can conceptually say there is a God, but until you give your self wholly to Him, you are actually pushing Him away.  With God it is all or nothing.  "God is easy to please but hard to satisfy."

To illustrate the point, I heard a sermon from a former police chief.  He talked about this same concept.  (coincidence?)  He said that while at the police academy, he saw bullet proof vest tested.  The vest was propped up against a sandbag wall.  A gun was fired at the vest and the cadets were allowed to examine it.  "Hey, it didn't go through."  But, to trust in the bullet proof vest, one would need to put on the vest and voluntarily take a bullet.  Big difference in believing in something and trusting it.

I was convicted on another point as I read the book.  He Lewis wrote that when we trust God to help us heal in an area, we frequently get more than we ask.  For instance, he said that when he was a child, he would wait to tell his mother if he had a tooth ache.  Why?  Because he knew she would give him medicine for the pain to help him through the night, but in the morning, she would take him to the dentist.  He did not want to go to the dentist because he would fix the tooth causing pain, but would not stop there.  He would examine the other teeth and fix others as well.

I think that I deceive myself in thinking that God has done enough "fixing" in my soul.  I claim that He could have stopped 5 stages ago.  But with God it is all or nothing.  He will not be satisfied until we are "perfect."  No, I am far from perfect; I have a long way to go.  But that is the quest isn't it?  We will not be complete until we are untied with Him in eternal glory and rid of or world contamination. 

The best thing I can do is to accept that I will need refinement and give up.

I am due to have another surgery this Friday so I can use my left hand.  I am not happy, but as I was reminded today, "Give thanks to God for everything."

The Smoking Gun

It is still really hard for me to type, so I will get straight to the point.  We finally have an answer as to why Elizabeth is falling so much.  She has a cardiac issue called POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). 

This is not life threatening, nor will it damage her heart.  When people stand up the blood vessels in the lower extremities constrict to force more blood and oxygen to the brain.  Because people with EDS don't constrict anything well, this automatic function is not as effective as in other people.  The result is the loss of consciousness or getting dizzy and light headed.  I looked it up and it seems that this is a common symptom for people with EDS.  She went to see the cardiologist and he diagnosed her within minutes.  Her  blood pressure was checked while laying down.  Then she stood up for 5 minutes and it was checked again.  Her pressure was extremely low while standing, so they think POTS is the smoking gun.

She began some new medicines and she has to drink 8 oz. of water for every hour she is awake.  This is very painful, but it is already helping.  She also needs to strengthen her lower body to give the blood vessels something hard to push against when constricting.

Because she still has the injury to her hip, all of this is a little more complicated, but it is a relief to finally understand the problem.  Elizabeth would like to get up and go like she used to, but she needs to take it slow.  She thinks that the new medicine will clear everything quickly, but this is when the real patience needs to be strengthened.  A fall at this point could really set her back.  Even though she is doing better, her light headiness is not completely gone.  Please pray for her to take it slow!